ONE.

this blog is actually long dead but right now, i feel there is a need to post an entry for myself. i'm done with my poly and frankly speaking, i miss poly life tremendously. firstly it was partly due to the friends i had and secondly, at least when it comes to revision for exams or test, there are some past year papers for you to revise to at least make you feel "secure" when you are heading for a test.

so right now i'm in my uni life. to be honest, uni life really sucks. it does. it sucks to the bone. it eats your normal routine. i really hate how uni is changing my life. i know i may sound very stubborn but this sudden change is crazy, especially when your uni is in a very fast pace like mine. started school on aug, midyr exams ended sep and end of oct is my final exams. tremendous speed.

i've been sulking about uni life recently. i hate and felt disgusted about how education system works in singapore. it focuses so much on a piece of paper. i darnoe whether should i blame on fate or everything else. i've been having lotsa WHAT IFs in my mind recently but the one that i came very close which my uni life screw me up was the change of course structure.

i remembered before entering uni, i was considering 2 courses which are marketing and business management, i took marketing cause it says 2.5 years of duration so like durh of course i will take it, but then a month ago, my uni announced that business management will have a change of programe structure which induced to 2 years. screw me up and screwed me bad enough.

i'm handling modules which i do not know why i study so much and yet the result wasn't to expectation. i thought to myself whether did i study wrongly, well maybe. but even how wrong it was at least i should have the lowest expectation for it. i chat with one of my schoolmate back in secondary school, his now in his uni life as well. i told him that life in uni, you have to study like a dog. like a bitch. he told me that in uni, you just gotta study. that is what you need to do.

i mean how much can a person study? i will remember this so much that i will do a triple consideration of doing a part time masters. for all your life studying, by the time you really "complete" your studies, how old will you be? how much more of your life are willing to let you live on? i'm not saying studies can take forever. but some may even go crazy all because of study.

i reallie do wish someone or somewhere can gimme the light in my uni life. to embrace me and make me understand better in my studies. gimme the light. just shine on me. i'm tired and i think i'm having mild depression. i need to stop this and continue studying cause exams are just 3 weeks away. don't do this to me.